why kan’t zoe write?

This blog fell on Oct 11, 2008.

I went wall climbing for the first time this afternoon. And I did it alone.

Fuelled by a renewed sense of independence, I braved the commute to Southmall. I never go on an adventure alone. Partly because I want my friends laughing if we end up with a misadventure. Partly because I’m afraid to do it alone. Partly because I love doing things with my boyfriend or my friends. And partly because it seems geeky to me to be doing things without a buddy. But I have to accept that most people won’t be on the same page of adventure 100% of the time, because 95% of the time, their comfy beds lure them back to slumber, as was the case today.

I was proud of the fact that I got to the top on the first attempt. I have been told that that doesn’t happen all the time. However, I immediately felt the strain on my arms. Although I was instructed to use my legs to propel myself up, I also still had to exert some effortusing my arms and fingers.

I went up on my 2^nd attempt, this time feeling the weakness of my arms. But the worst part was figuring out where to step next. I thought pre-planning my climb would be the secret. But when you’re up there, you don’t see that route anymore and then you find out that you didn’t go the way you planned it. So I was stuck there.

Now what?

Niño said that sometimes you have to let go if you get stuck. Otherwise, your muscles will end up with fatigue and you won’t be able to continue. He also said that you just have to step on where it is convenient. He also says that he won’t be teaching me the basics yet because I have to build a foundation of having my own technique and to get accustomed to the strength that vertical plane required.

I rested for a while and Niño let me. And then I saw it: no one said I can’t move to my side. So I did. And that brought me up.

I think by this time I earned his trust that I could go all the way up for a 3^rd time and rapel down (or was that the 4^th time?). Never did I feel more afraid than that moment when he told me to let go and rapel. Was it the weakness of my arms that made me doubt my success with this? Or was this really fear? But I had to rely on what was left of my strength now and let go.

And I wasn’t sorry. In fact, midway through, I really enjoyed it. As a bonus, I got some applause from the onlookers.

Today, I’ve learned more about my strengths and my mental abilities. And I’ve learned further that I should never limit myself again.

~ by kabibe on October 17, 2008.