why kan’t zoe write?

(The characters are fictitious, hokay?)

!

I’m so kilig! As in so much! You know kasi, I’ve been introduced this guy, Sebastian, last year pa. It was summer and it was so boring that I asked a friend to give me a new crush. And she gave me Basti.

Basti looks like Colin Farrel. He’s not Colin Farrel, he doesn’t look like him, but he’s just as hot as him, except he’s not. And he’s not Irish. And he doesn’t have an accent. And he doesn’t act. Basta he’s like Colin!

We clicked at once. We made kulit at least once a day on the phone. Before long, we were flirting while maintaining a platonic relationship. No, really!

And kulit he is to the max!

"O? Why you not texting me today? Siguro you don’t have load ‘no?" And I wanted to say "yes", but I couldn’t, kasi nga I didn’t have any load at all. So, I dunno, he probably couldn’t take it so he called me that day.

"You can’t get out and buy load for yourself?"

"Yah…"

"Sige na nga. I’ll buy load na for you. Pero after I cool myself off. It’s hot outside, even in my SUV."

"WOW! Why you acting like a concerned boyfriend? You don’t have to do that, you know?"

"… e… e, I always do that to my pamangkin naman e, so it shouldn’t be any trouble at all."

"Ah, so I’m like a pamangkin pala to you?"

"Hindi… like a girlfriend."

"Gosh!.. So this means that when I don’t have load anymore, we’re break na, di ba?"

"Ha ha! Yer funny!"

!

After a week, I was quiet again.

And he was quiet a week after that.

!

"Sweetie, why you not texting again? You don’t have load na naman, ‘no?"

How could I answer him naman? Hello!

!

Buti naman he caught up with the logic and called me up at home.

"Honey? Are you there? How’s my ex?"

"Hmp!" Y’know, the sort of hmp when you’re making mega-pa-cute in a sweetie-sweetie manner.

"O, what did I do wrong?"

"E you didn’t text me for a week! Siguro kaya mo ko na-remember kasi horny ka ngayon. Kasi you only text me when you’re horny."

"No, I’m not horny. I got laid the other night."

"Really? (aliw!) So who is it this month? Is it your college buddy Jill again?"

"No. Just some girl. Ano? You forgot na that you’re making tampo na with me, ‘no?"

"You e…"

"I don’t remember you naman when I’m horny. Tulad now. You don’t make me horny."

"And that’s supposed to be a good thing?"

"Ano ka ba? You’re so gulo!"

!

We were quiet again for 2 weeks. I texted him one night, but he replied the next morning.

"Hi sweetie! I was in Davao. Just got back last night. How are you?"

Before I could answer, Basti called.

"Where you right now?"

I answered in my super husky, still-plastered-on-bed kind of voice, "In bed."

"Wow! You got laid!"

"No, I did not!!" Which is sorta true. "I’m just pagod. Did you miss me?"

"Ya of course, I did. Pero you didn’t miss me. Hmp.Kasi you got laid last night!"

He’s good.

"So when am I gonna get my pasalubong? Di mo pa nga pala binibigay yung chocolates na na-promise mo sa akin last Valentine’s Day pa…"

"Why not tonight?"

!

And next thing I know, we were in Starbucks at 11pm, talking, laughing, and smoking like we were a chain of belching tambuchos stuck in downtown Manila. Later, he took me dancing. Ang sarap pala ng may nakayakap, ‘no?

As I was preparing for bed, he called again. We were doing this "O-ha" thing, where he says "ha" the same sabay time I say "O", and vice-versa. We were laughing so hard that my pantog sorta gave a little.

"Yer funny!"

"No, yer funny!"

!

<Oh stop! Can I, like, kill them na?>